Glad you posted that SJM. Typical of the shiyte we have seen almost every day leading up to the series from one media outlet or another for months down here. Compared to their sorry lot! Can I just point out that, if this series had gone the way it has but in Australias favour, they would be shouting from the rooftops; tickertape parade through Sydney; absolutely ripping us to f? It would be like a feeding frenzy. To all those of you who are elated about this brilliant victory, don't hold back.
I love number 7 for this gem: Australia have eight Test-standard speedsters in the queue. And number 10 for this: Five of their top six batsmen are the same lot who stumbled and bumbled through the loss on England's last trip to Australia.
The scarring is deep and real. Jimmy Anderson's memories of Australia are all nightmarish. He averaged Broad and Finn are yet to play a Test series in Australia. Hard surfaces jarring bones and muscles, oppressive heat - they won't know what or who has hit them. By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.
The Poms Won't Win. This darkness has descended, and yet there has been no declaration of national emergency. Clearly, Kevin Rudd hasn't been the same since trying the Great Wall red at the opening ceremony dinner.
Once, not so long ago, Australians were a proud people who walked tall with jutted jaws. The Poms were a source of amusement, a fallen imperial master weeping over a dog-eared scrapbook, its tattered images of Steve Redgrave, Seb Coe, Mary Rand and those blokes from Chariots Of Fire fading by the day.
As much as it hurt, you'd hear them say: "Why can't we be good at sport, like you Aussies? Triumphal, you'd smile, pat their bowed heads, and offer an almost heartfelt, "There, there, at least you've got Amy Winehouse. Now there's not a hutong in Beijing you can disappear down without a smug cockney voice trailing you on the breeze, Bazza McKenzie impersonation in full swing.
Bloody crook, fair dinkum! And there's no point telling them it's cheating to count Scotland, whom they can't even summon the energy to laugh at - until Chris Hoy is flying around the track on his pushbike.
What really hurts is the knowledge that, when they were down on their scabby knees pleading for any sporting morsel to be thrown their way, we came to their rescue. And in one of the director's chairs, guiding Great Britain's all-conquering sprinters, is Shane Sutton.
A gold medallist for Australia at the Commonwealth Games, Sutton cut his coaching teeth in Wales and is now firmly ensconced in Team GB, saying "we" and "our" with an ease that belies an accent that is still more Bankstown than Blackpool. He cops the usual stick - "they're always taking the mickey" - but has disturbing news as to how the new world order has been received. Illustrating his point, Sutton says that when the British men won the team sprint on Friday, "There was a full team of Australians over there cheering our boys as they went up on the podium.
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